I haven't felt humidity like this since a little over a year ago. Its the kind that comes on days when the world wakes and keeps its blinds of clouds drawn. The sun is shining, but the only effect is a subtle change in the feel and hue of the air. The moisture suspended within it seeps into your house, your belongings, and even the skin on your bones. Its especially invading mine as my body acclimates to this San Antonio, TX morning. I'll tell you about it a little. I'll write quickly and in the moment, something I have not done in the past, because as I sit here on this aloe vera green porch on a white swing looking down on a new community, it's the only place I want to be.
With this understanding of being in the moment comes a slight apology and admittance of past mispractices. This blog is contrived, which means in this context- a projected facade of carefully spun truths. I've carefully selected my words, stories, imagery, and even blog color and layout to make myself look like some kind of social activism hero. The truth is that I am, well in some ways at least. I have enough good intentions in mind to pave the whole road to hell and back. Thus far they have led me to put my first step out of college onto an illogical limb of flimsy career choice instead of onto the somewhat sturdy first rung of the corporate ladder. I'm disregarding the unspoken advice of many, which has said to me in nonverbal gestures such as slight nods and neutrally pronounced "hmm's" of acknowledgement that I will soon rue the day I signed the contract to be a "volunteer" (insert gasp here). The rest of the truth is that I am still learning how to live and participate in the truth that I have discovered. Its foundations in my lifestyle are not nearly as deep as some of my posts read. So, I apologize, and extend the peace offering of more reality and less "spin" in my writing, beginning now:
I am deeply in love with people at the moment: communities, families, organizations, and social networks. I tend to obsess about things and themes for 2 weeks to a month at a time. When I was younger it was aggressive inline skating, comic books, girls, fishing, books, yo-yo's, or soccer. Now these stints of time seem to be centered around personal, internal projects. Currently, I am learning about human interaction and its significance in the world in which we live. While this has been on my mind as of late, it is certainly not the first time. It has surfaced in my interests/obsessions in many different forms for sometime now, such as a desire to study the formations and interactions of people, organizations, and networks in my college career.
I have said that I believe that we are all in this together, that my liberation is bound in the freedom of others, and that we are all collectively tied. With the recognition of this belief come my first steps in its practice: community, community, community. Learning to live in love and harmony is difficult. I can't even do it with myself. But I am finding that the more I try the more connected I feel to the people around me, and consequently to the one that created us all. I cannot hug God, help him find a job, ask him how his day is going, or make sure I do all my dishes in his house on my night of the week. However, there's a few folks in my life that I can love like that, in a real, tangible way. It is the way in which I feel God transposed his image of love and relationship in community onto us.
My new thoughts on community and relationships with those in my daily life extend themselves in a very natural way to create a foundation for my work in Tucson. While I came here to live on the crest of the Immigrants' Rights Movement, a wave that is apparently still a few miles from shore after the recent election of Jan Brewer, I have begun to realize that movements are based in the long term organization of communities. If I want to play a significant part in any kind of movement or fight for freedom, then I must first spend some time beneath the soil, establishing roots in my community and getting to know the environment in which I hope to grow. Furthermore, the Immigrants' Rights Movement is just one battle in a war against inequality and the oppression of the human spirit. I hope that the overarching theme and movement of my life is involved in the much broader promotion of love and unity amongst people of all backgrounds in a variety of different struggles and work.
San Antonio, TX